Husband Wife Relationship
An old couple residng at Newyork celebrating their 50th wedding anniverssay invited Guruji to their home to offer him “Biksha”rather than throwing a big party. The elderly woman, though old was incharge of cooking and her presence was felt in almost all corners of the household. The Guruji in the midst of their conversation asked the gentleman (when the wife was away at the kitchen) These days people cant stay 50 days in marriage, but how come you stayed in marriage like a place in America for 50 long years. Elderly man managed. He didnt find an answer. But she was listening in the kitchen. Shyly she came behind the curtain and said to the guruji “Swamiji you like some one because of something, but you love someone inspite of everything. That is the glory of love. Love is not blind. Blind love is attachment.You dont see the faults of others. Love is that which sees the good in the other and brings out the best. Therefore that which brings out the worst in the you/other is the lower form of love. That which brings out the best in you and your beloved is the higher form of love.
In the lower form of love you are ready to give happiness only for happiness in return. But in higher form of love you think only about the happiness of the beloved. For the happiness of the beloved, he/she is ready to even sacrifice or even suffer and that suffering finds joy. People give up thier life for their country and find it great joy!! Is it not? Sree Ramachandra gave up his kingdom for his father’s word and found joy in it and not suffering. Because he loved his father. He loved honesty. In lower form of love there is always fear and insecurity. The story of Rukmani and Satyabhama about winning Krishna is depicted here. Sage Narada wanted to test the love of Rukmani and Sathyabhama.
Narada Muni went to Rukmani and asked her, where is Krishna? Rukmani politely said, must have gone out for some work. Narada sarcastically asks her, “are you Sure”? There are other places like Brindavan, Satyabhama etc. etc. Rukmani very confident about her love firmly says to Narada that she knows about Krishna and will definitely come back to her wherever he might go. She does not have any fear or insecurity about Krishna leaving her. Narada went to Sathyabhama and repeated the same question to her. Sathyabhama said , I dont know. Must be sitting with some Rukmani or…She requested Narada to do something so that Krishna is only for Sathyabhama. Narada asked her to do a particular Vratha and said her that she has to donate what she considered the most precious of her belongings, so that Krishna comes back to her.Krishna was most precious to her and as per the Vrata she had to donate him. Krishna had to follow Narada. He made a slave of Krishna. Sathyabhama started crying. Why are you taking Krishna? Give him back to me. Okay. Then you give me something else for Krishna so that I can return him. She said I will give all my jewels to Krishna. It was fine with Narada. She put all her jewels, precious diamonds, gold, silver, etc etc in the pan for the Thulabharam of Krishna. But Krishna could not be measured in jewels. Finally she goes to Rukmani from whom she wanted to steal away Krishna. She says to Rukmani the whole episode and asks her to give all the jewels she has so that Krishna can be bought back. Rukmani laughed at Sathyabhama and said “Do you think you can measure Krishna with these jewels?” She continues, Take all my jewels if you want. But Krishna cannot be measured with these jewels. She removes all the jewels from the pan and keeps one Tulsi leaf and that is heavier than Krishna and wins Krishna back. This is the glory of love.
What happens in a Hindu Marriage ?. The girl goes behind the man three rounds. In the first round she says, in your pursuasion of your Dharma, duties , I will be behind you. In your seeking of prosperity, I will stand behind your success or failure. In your joys and enjoyments which are with Dharma, I shall always be with you to give your pleasure.
In the last and fourth round, one thing she demands – that in death “I shall go before you”. This is what a woman asks in marriage. In death I go before you and I dont want to stay behind like a widow. She says I will go first and prepare the kingdom for you there. This is all that a woman demands from a husband. But in reality, if the husband dies first, the wife will survive without much difficulty. But in the other way, if the wife parts away first, the husband finds it very difficult to survive. Why? Because the woman was always the giver all her life and the man was the receiver or dependent. She was giving care,love,attention,education, life lessons etc constantly reminding them about their duties to her children and family. Men on the other hand do their only job of providing for the family by bringing money for their survival and existence. As Kalidas puts it ” Wisdom comes naturally to woman. But men get it from books.”
When you love your parents you love your brothers and sisters and when you love your country you will love all your fellow beings. Love is one that ends your ego. But today, in any family, there is only ego in relationships. You said this about my feelings – so i said this to you. As Kabirdas puts it, If you have to live in the house of love, then eliminate your ego. Only then you can experience the joy of love.